(Warning: Mild “The Bachelor” spoilers lie ahead)
Hi, my name is Ally and I’m a feminist who loves “The Bachelor.” Please send help!
Let me put this out there before you think I’m a snob. I love reality television. In fact, I work in reality TV. I will watch models walking the runway, cooking competitions with child prodigies or Michelin-starred chefs, or whatever other warped wall shenanigans you want to throw at me. And I’ve dabbled in “RHONY,” “Teen Mom,” and “90 Day Fiancé.” My entire maternity leave was spent begging my infant to sleep and watching “Say Yes to the Dress.”
I recently (it only took me 20 seasons!) discovered the unfettered joy that is “The Bachelor” franchise and its spinoffs. This is guilty-pleasure television by very definition. I spent the summer glued to my devices inhaling episodes of “The Bachelorette,” and coveting JoJo’s perfect hair.
The Bachelorette was my entry point into The Rose-lifestyle. (Side note: The Bachelorette also gave me The Chad, and for that, I am forever grateful. If you’re unfamiliar, The Chad is an all-protein-consuming, hard-drinking, alpha-male sociopath who competed on “The Bachelorette,” and later made a brief cringe-worthy splash on “Bachelor in Paradise.”)
I’m married and I don’t plan on dating anyone ever again . . . knock on wood, pray to the “Marriage Gods” aka Barack and Michelle, etc. But I got sucked into “The Bachelorette’s” Forever Love, Fantasy Suites, and contestants who are there for The Right Reasons. “Bachelor in Paradise” was a fun diversion that really only served to introduce me to “Nice Guy” Nick Vial.